End of the fall semester, back to indiana, and on to Ireland

After school ended I felt like I was done with education for good. I left Chicago to come home because I had signed up to go to Ireland for my last semester of college. I had taken out a lot of student loans to cover the cost of this trip, though I spent a lot of it before leaving on things I needed to prepare myself for the trip, including necessities that were not a priority: new clothes, lots of food, movies, a trip to New York, etc. I was pretty bad with money, but I've decided to forgive myself. There were a series of lasts: last visit with my friend Ashley, last supper with mom, Nicole, Jon, and Justin, last visit to Chicago. I though I would be gone for four months and that was frightening at the time, though now it seems like nothing. I slowly packed my giant Samsonite suitcase with the items I had accumulated in recent weeks. The night before the flight I barely slept. The next morning I was so nervous but could hardly think about what was coming after the flight. I had never flown over the ocean before, and the thought scared me. First I thought I had better get to Ireland before I can decide what happens next. It was my first time at O'hare's International departures wing. I loved the possibilities of being able to go anywhere in the world from this particular hub, that there were people present who likely lived in India, Japan, Indonesia, Israel, France, Spain, Turkey... everywhere. The whole wide world was in that airport, just as they were in every International airport in the world. I took a long time to say goodbye to my mom, hugging her for a good 20 minutes. I knew it would be the last hug I'd get for awhile. I felt particularly uneasy about going. Limerick was never the first place on my list to visit or live, I would be spending the same amount of money as I would at Loyola and then some on a school in a tiny dirty Irish town, and I only did it because I wanted to see London, Paris, and Italy. Big mistake. I eventually chickened out... I didn't know what else to do... it was not where I intended to be or wanted to be at the time, though now I probably would stick it out, now that I have graduated and seem faced with more limited travel options. But self forgiveness is key, so is remembering how much you despised the situation you were in. We tend to make a big deal out of situations where we had an opportunity and took a different one... one thinks about the time he could have spent in one place and regrets the missed opportunity, all the while forgetting the adventure that took its place.

I finally came to my terminal after buying some air-born vitamins and that stuff that's supposed to help with motion sickness. I had all of it while waiting, it made my stomach hurt. At this time i was less healthy then I am now. I was more overweight and stuffed myself to the limit almost all the time. I looked around the terminal, trying to decide who was Irish and who was American. I listened for the accents. I wanted to have a little clue what to expect when I stepped off the plane. We boarded a little late. I was happy to see that the plane was nearly empty, I moved to the center and had the entire row to myself. There were a few TVs in the ceiling, not in the back of the seat like I hoped, but they played Across the Universe and a game show set in Dublin. I enjoyed it. The ride was smoother then I imagined, thanks to the larger plane. When I gained the courage, I moved to the windows and scoped out the peaceful darkness of being at a very high altitude over the Atlantic. I was surprised to an island with lights on it... I still don't know what it was, out there in the middle of the Atlantic. I'm pretty sure we were too far south for it to be Iceland, but it had a comforting mystery too it... who knows what really goes on out in the Ocean. Between California and Hawaii there is an ocean garbage dump twice the size of Texas... who know... a continent of garbage. The stewardesses were friendly Irish ladies. They served chicken, cheese, potatoes, and cheesecake, tea, and coffee. Most of the time I just layed there and thought about were I was going, and what I had just left behind. When I arrived in Ireland, it would be six in the morning, six hours later then it was at home. At home the night was just starting, in Ireland the sun had just come up. We landed, I was so tired. They took my picture to make sure I signed up for my visa in Limerick and wasn't just hanging out in the country. I bought a bus ticket to downtown Dublin from a clerk, who exchanged my money for me. I realized I had lost a lot of money by exchanging cash at the airport in Chicago. I took my giant suitcase on the bus with me, not noticing the undercarriage where it was supposed to go. That was a little embarrassing carrying it off the bus when we finally reached Dublin. I had no idea how to find the hostel. I dragged my suitcase across the cobblestone sidewalks in front of Trinity College. It was packed, I felt like i was back in New York, just people wall to wall. Finally a nice older man directed me to the hostel. I had to carry to 70 pound suitcase up the stairs. I was exhausted to say the least. I tried taking a nap, but it was difficult. I wanted to see what was outside. I layed down for a couple of hours and then returned to the street.